Why Do They Keep Sending Me To Nigeria?

Short haul misery is finally over with, and I was rewarded with my lovely 3 day trip to Oman which I spent eating cheese & tomato pizza, sippin’ diet coke, and baking myself in the 40 degree heat by the lavish pool. So un-culturally stimulating, but what a treat it was. However, maybe I shouldn’t have complained so aggressively about the lack of long haul. The scheduling God has punished me once again by sending me back to Nigeria. THREE TIMES THIS MONTH. Perhaps it’s that pesky bartender at Goody’s requesting my presence. Each trip there is worse than the last. I definitely over complimented my first time there. The hotel has random power cuts throughout the day leaving you in darkness and sweating in your own bedroom. The shower water initially runs tinged with brown, so I’ve now learnt to let it run for 4 minutes before even testing the temperature. On the plus side, I have the service down to muscle memory. Ain’t nobody getting in the way of me and my juice rounds.

Other than Lagos issues, I had the best trip to Miami mid month where I sat in the flight deck for landing. Flying in over the sun soaked South Beach was pretty outstanding. The hotel was beautiful, in the centre of town with views out over the ocean. We took a short Uber to the beach the next day, only to be met by bath temperature water and white sand. The trolley dolly’s dream. In addition I ate the best grilled cheese I’ve ever tasted, and bought 14 pairs of knickers in the Victoria’s Secret that I 100% did not need; but who can resist the semi-annual sale?

Atlanta was another 3 day trip I was scheduled this month. Cheesecake was on the cards, along with some top room-service, (the trick is to order children’s meals – half the price, but regular sized plates for all us non-Americans. Thank me later). Whilst some of the other crew spent their wages on fridge magnets at the Coca Cola factory, I roasted myself by the matchbox sized pool so successfully, I had to open the first aid kit for burn relief on the return flight. The tomato look does not suit me, especially contrasted with my white shirt.

SO far I’m not rostered any Nigeria trips for June. If they put me on any as a surprise, I might kick off.